SD TIMES BLOG
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Worst... License... Evar...

by Alex Handy 02/27/2009 01:47 PM EST

We've had these lying around for a while. I thought it was time to bring them out into the open. One day, I decided to create the worst possible end user license. I believe I managed to do just that. Oh gentle readers, behold: The Cliff License

This software and its source codes may be copied verbatim to any new medium without warranty or fee provided an intact copy of this license appears at the beginning of the source code files, or as a seperate plaintext file included with the binary. Any storage medium onto which these source code files or plaintext files are copied become subject to the terms of this license upon immediate completion of the copy function. The term “storage medium” herein refers to any hard drive, removable disc drive, remotely accessible file system, local memory, frontside cache, backside cache, filing cabinets, libraries, safety deposit boxes, USB keychains, books, notepad files, cellular telephones, any telephones, cocktail napkins, and any type of circular shiny plastic disc that magically appears in the spooky spooky future.

All information contained within a storage medium subject to the terms of this license must be erased. The term “erased,” herein should be read to mean “lit on fire and thrown off a cliff.”

I had so much fun with that, I decided to make another. The Chaos License.

This software--herein referring to the actual source code of this program or datum set, and the compiled binary of this program or datum set—is made available to you free of all claims of copyright or proprietary rights. As such, you waive any right to a warranty or liability from the creators of this software in the event of unfortunate “accidents.” This software, in its purest form is comprised of 0's and 1's. As such, any attempted tabulation of these digits must result in the complete rearranging of those digits. If the user attempts to use or even comprehend this software, all 0's and 1's in the possession of the user, regardless of their location in the universe, must be rearranged. Any software running in concert with this software must be rearranged.

The simplest way to comply with this license is to immediately flip flop all digital files backward upon installation. Thus, this is exactly what this software does. Sometimes.

 Not nearly as cool, I know. Can anyone out there come up with some better ones?

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